11/1/12 Box Score Roundup

One thing I'd like to do with the blog this year is have some quick, easy, low-committment fun with games I didn't actually watch. Not only will that make getting content out easier, but there's actually some inherent amusement in reading a box score and imagining what must have happened to produce those results (the nights where Nick Young goes 4-19 from the field while not registering any other stats are my personal favorite). Here's a few takeaways I got from looking through last night's games.

Dallas' second unit had a very bad night

 I had to copy the box score itself so you could experience what I did first hand.

Look at these plus/minus numbers! This is not just coming into the game and struggling... This is hemmoraghing points so fast that medical personnel won't be able to help by the time they arrive on the scene.

I mean, Dahntay Jones: what on earth happened during those 8 minutes you logged? You played less than 500 seconds and your team managed to get outscored by 25 points!? HUH?? At that pace, had you gone the full 48, your squad would've gotten beat down by 150! Did you come into the game and just lose feeling in your legs? Meanwhile, what are Darren Collison and Shawn Marion thinking on the bench as this is going on? And how did Mark Cuban let this stand? (To be fair, it happeend so fast, he probably couldn't do anything about it.) So many mysteries.

Austin Rivers' entirely predictable yet simultaneously surprisingly hilariously awful debut

24 minutes, 7 points, 1-9 shooting, 1 rebound, 2 assists, 3 turnovers, countless pouts. This is the best. And the worst. But, mostly the best.

Utah's beastly front line

Al Jefferson, Paul Millsap and Derrick Favors grabbed 39 combined rebounds last night. As reference, Portland's ENTIRE TEAM grabbed 30. This will be a recurring theme this year, I suspect. (Also, LaMarcus Aldridge... come on dude. You're 6'11". You would get more than three rebounds in 39 minutes by just wandering around the court with your arms in the air. You're frustrating, bro.)

These monsters are Dumb Foul favorites